Giving Yourself Permission to Change
There is something to be said for committing wholeheartedly to a goal. But what happens when success consumes your true sense of self?
The need to succeed at all costs can reinforce the belief that there is one specific path we must follow in order to reach our dreams – when in reality, that’s not the truth.
The colonized world would have you believe that success is a linear process and that we have to do what others have done in order to be successful. But success is not a destination, it's an ongoing journey. We need to give ourselves permission to change and make mistakes.
Ask yourself – Am I open to change? Do I have the courage and wisdom to let go of what no longer serves me?
When we give ourselves permission to explore change, we open the door to new experiences.
Over the course of the year, we have uncovered a series of questions that the Wild Dreamers have asked themselves. You can use the sections below as journaling prompts and questions to ask as you practice embodied connection to your higher self.
Visioning & Openings
Bringing a vision to life will ask you to be less rigid in your approach. Having a clear idea of what you want is a starting place. The flexibility to allow it to grow as intended is where you’ll need to operate from to allow the fullness of your vision to be realized.
What do you want your vision to look and feel like?
What preconceived notions do you have about getting to your vision?
What are three other visions of your life you might consider?
What expectations do you have about how you will get to your destination?
Are you open to the idea that your goal may evolve?
What if it evolved into something beyond what you originally imagined?
Original imagination runs wild and moves carefully. What is your relationship to running wild and moving with care and intention?
Decolonizing the idea of success
In a performance-driven environment, it’s not uncommon to be forced to sacrifice your health and well-being while meeting your vision and accomplishing goals. BIWOC are under pressure to succeed for themselves, as well as the families and people they support. So we organized a set of questions about unburdening:
Have you noticed the carry-over of unrealistic expectations in your own work?
Have you lost touch with your inner voice? The one that lights up when you are moving in the right direction and signals you when you’re off track?
Are you pushing yourself to achieve, out of sync with that voice?
What would be a potential outcome of coming back into alignment with that voice?
Patterns and Linear Thinking
If your focus becomes too narrow, it might be limiting your ability to achieve your goals with the guidance of your higher self. This way of thinking blocks out your energetic connection to flow, and those who are meant to help you along the way.
What is your relationship with asking for and accepting help from others?
How do you center self-care when navigating transitions?
What traits are you mimicking from your original way of thinking that are holding you back?
What demands were imposed on you to keep you in your place?
Are you making these demands of others?
What if you opened the space for creative ideas and solutions to old patterns and behaviors? What would that feel like?
How do you beat yourself up? How can you replace one bad self-thought with one positive aspect?
What is your relationship with positive outcomes and the idea that things will work out for you?
What do you value in this world? How willing are you to say no to things that don’t align with your values and yes to the things that are for you?
Accepting What Is
It can be easy to be caught in the idea that we have no control over our lives and that when the system works itself out we’ll be better off. While it’s important not to lose sight of the system's reform, it is also important to be honest about what you do have control over. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
How hard is it to let go of certain ideas and beliefs when they are no longer serving you?
In The Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler writes, “Drowning people sometimes die fighting their rescuers.” Who has tried to rescue you, how have you fought them?
How are you drowning in an idea of what you should be, what should happen? What would happen if you made space for what is instead?
Developing a sense of empathy for your own needs and acknowledging that you are just one person will serve you in your purpose over the long term. If your relationship to time is broken, you’ll keep bumping up against the same cycles that deplete your energy. You are an energetic body, who is meant to thrive with the support of others – one of those others being the ancestral wisdom in your body.
Take time to be with yourself to hear what your spirit is telling you. Your higher self is always giving you opportunities to change and offers its guidance to support your growth. Your intuition will be a powerful ally in this journey, as you take the opportunity to listen, ask these questions, and follow through.
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